التصنيف: اتحاد المجرة

FIELD REPORT: ETHNO-OMEGA-7-27
مراقب: Xel’Dar Atten’borru, Senior Xenocultural Analyst, Vurian Collective
المكان Terran Nation-State Cluster “United States,” Maritime Security Sub-Faction
(Designation: خفر السواحل)
الطابع الزمني: Cycle 2025.11.20 (Earth Reckoning)

الوقت المقدر للقراءة: 4 دقائق

SUBJECT: Reclassification of Symbolic Aggression & the Ritual Banishing of Gender-Shifted Warriors

Greetings from Earth, the galaxy’s premier theme park of poorly-executed ideas.

I arrived upon the human coastline expecting the usual: rusting steel vessels, ceremonial flags waving in confusion, and bipedal mammals performing security theater with great enthusiasm.

I was quietly observing seagulls commit food-related crimes when the local news announced that the U.S. Coast Guard had redefined two major things:

1. A symbol of planetary genocide – once universally condemned – has been redesignated as merely “politically divisive.”
2. Warriors who alter or redefine their gender identity are now forbidden from serving at all.

Naturally, I spilled my beverage.
(Superheated plasma – it stains.)

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I. THE GREAT SYMBOL DOWNGRADE

Once upon a century, humans swore never to legitimize that particular sigil again.
Then, as is their tradition, they… forgot.

In prior cycles, Terrans understood that the swastika – a sigil carved into the bones of their darkest century – carried enough psychic weight to destabilize any collective environment. Humans have short memories, but not usually أن قصيرة.

Yet a new directive has appeared.

Under the updated rules:

• The swastika and the noose are now labeled “politically divisive,”
• لكن not hateful,
• Unless someone important is offended,
• Or unless the symbol appears in public,
• Or unless the reviewer had a bad morning,
• Or unless the moon is in retrograde.
  (I may have misinterpreted that part, but only slightly.)

Private display is entirely acceptable – because nothing dangerous has ever been discussed behind closed doors in human history (?). If you draw it in public, you might get a stern talking-to, depending on your commanding officer’s caffeine level.

This is what the humans call “policy clarity.”

The commanding officer insists offenders will be “severely punished,” which directly contradicts the document he signed. But humans love contradictions the way Vurians love bioluminescent moss: passionately, irrationally, and without explanation.
They treat contradictions as optional أسئلة جانبية.

I have witnessed bureaucracy on 37 planets, but never one that says:

“Yes, this is terrible –
but if it’s behind a shower curtain, it’s a lifestyle choice.”

Or, in the humans’ own semantic dialect:

“Potentially inconvenient, unless someone important complains.”

This logic is, in every measurable way, uniquely Terran.

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II. THE BANISHMENT OF TRANS-FORMERS (HUMAN VARIANT)

Meanwhile, humans who shift or realign their gender identity – a phenomenon as common in the galaxy as lag in interstellar video calls – are now exiled from service.

This was predicted after their executive leader issued a ban on transgender warriors, presumably using a dartboard, a blindfold, and a deep misunderstanding of biology.

The Coast Guard promptly removed “gender identity” from its protected list.
تم حل المشكلة.
(For a very small value of “solved.”)

On Vurian worlds, this would be like banning color-changing scouts because someone found the purple phase “confusing.”

Civilizations have collapsed over less.

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III. A SYMBOL CAN STAY, A HUMAN CANNOT

Allow me to summarize the Terran mathematic function:

Hate emblem = allowed
Living human = not allowed

This is the only planet I know where symbols have more job security than citizens.

Even the Zitharians treat their “Skull of Eternal Screaming” with more respect – and that thing actually screams.

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IV. MILITARY HAZING NOW HAS A “PROPER PURPOSE”

The new doctrine also approves hazing – even the variety that involves bruises – so long as it serves a “proper military purpose.”

This raises the following operational questions:

• Is “initiating Dave” a proper purpose?
• Is “testing Carl’s limits” a proper purpose?
• Is “the sergeant got bored” a proper purpose?

Humans, bafflingly, banned plastic straws to protect sea turtles, then immediately legalized assault as a team-building exercise.

One begins to suspect the species is being run by two different committees that do not speak to each other.

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V. STRATEGIC PROJECTION

If these policies continue, analysts predict:

• Increased tolerance for extremist signals
• Decreased tolerance for nuanced identities
• Organizational confusion reaching ritual levels
• And an institutional culture where the wall décor outranks the personnel

This is textbook proto-collapse behavior, or at least a very dramatic bout of group indecision.

Either way, we recommend securing your valuables.

Which direction they choose will determine much about their suitability for future interstellar diplomacy.

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VI. CLOSING REMARK

The Galactic Council has issued a travel advisory for the United States:

“Visitors are advised that hate symbols may be displayed freely inside bedrooms, but gender-nonconforming crew are prohibited from boats.”

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مصدر
نيويورك تايمز: Coast Guard Says Swastika and Noose Displays Are No Longer Hate Incidents